Just because it’s Father’s Day doesn’t mean I have to go along with whatever you say

We went to the fair today as a family and had a pretty great time. The only problem was that I noticed that my two front teeth suddenly have discoloration on them and I freaked out. Yes, I realize that I smoke and smoking causes stains, but this is a sudden ridiculous discoloration. Oh, and yes I am trying to quit, so please don’t hound me. I am not usually a vain person, but am really upset with these stains, so I’ve now brushed my teeth five times in a few hours, like a crazy person. I am just freaking out and need to whiten/ bleach/ get rid of my front teeth as soon as humanly possible. Anyway, so I’m relatively happy and then, crapstick decides to take advantage of this whole Father’s Day.

We get home and he asks me if we can buy his cousins out on this house in piece of crap Iowa that we inherited. The house has been on the market for over a year and hasn’t sold because it is located in a town that has less than 1000 people. Plus the house has some roof issues and foundation issues. Well, crapstick thinks this is a great idea and I’m dead set against it, but it’s Father’s Day so I’m supposed to go sure honey whatever you want. No, not me, I freak out and call my dad, Satan’s helper, (I’m not his biggest fan, but that we’ll talk about in another post) to find out what he thinks. This is because Satan’s helper works in real estate and should theoretically know something about all of this. So, surprisingly he agrees with me that we should not look at it as if we could flip it, but should see if we could rent the damn place out. I tell crapstick that he has to do some homework on this and then, we’ll talk again. I fucking hope the property management people say “no” this piece of shit town has no opportunity as a rental town and then, we can try to auction the house. See, you know the place is shit when we are about to auction the damn thing off and I’m not sure it will sell that way. So, Happy Father’s Day to all of you daddies out there and I hope you aren’t trying to get your wives to do whatever you want just because it’s Father’s Day.