FACEBOOK FURY

OKAY so I added all these people on facebook as my friends so they could help me get shit for Mafia Wars, right? Like strangers and everything so they're probably all looking at pics of me and my kids and my house and planning on robbing and raping and kidnapping all of us. Whatever. Rape is just surprise sex, right? (Kidding! Sorry. Don't hate me. It's very tragic. Somber, somber.)

So there I am taking up my precious time - oh and it IS precious, Banana gets about fifteen good solid minutes of sleep a day and by God I am going to enjoy them - being all fake friendly to these stupid Mafia Wars friends so I can get them to give me the fucking items I need to level up and what do they do? Waste my time, that's what. Here's how it goes:

Me: Hi! Thank you for friending me. I love playing Mafia Wars with you. Could you check my wish list and see if you can send me any of the things on it?

Them: HI! I like playing with you too! You're a lot of fun.

Me: No, YOU'RE fun! Can you check my wish list?

Them: Oh sorry right. Here's an Ace of Hearts

Me:...

I HAVE LIKE FIVE THOUSAND FUCKING ACES OF HEARTS!! WHAT IS A FUCKING WISH LIST FOR ASSHOLES? WASTING my God damned time. So then I've got to come up with more ways to be fake nice to them cause I know they have the shit I want. They're doing this just to piss me off. I know it!

Heather says she wonders if all Facebook people are as fake as I am. Um, DUH. I'm not fake to her, though. When she told me she was going to the mall tomorrow, I told her right to her face she's a fucking bitch. I have to go to fucking work. "Oh I'm Heather, I'm going to the MALL tomorrow la-dee-dah." Bitch.