Fuck these people on facebook

Sam again.

So, this is the continuation from yesterdays rant about facebook friends, so check that one out if you need a refresher. Any how, I responded to that bitch that we went to high school together and this morning I get another email saying: “And I know u how? I went there only two weeks???”
Okay, first of all, stop using u for the word you, it only has two extra letters, just fucking type them. Secondly, just facebook friend me, it really is not like I’m going to stalk your ass and find out everything about you. Oh, and the real kicker to this one is that she had already facebook befriended me, but then decided to hit delete, which always pisses me the fuck off. It’s just unnecessary people, you are not that important to start deleting other people. So, readers I’m totally interested to know how a “normal” person would respond to this, so please leave a comment letting me know what how I should respond. I would like to respond with an email that goes something like this:

So you cannot remember me from high school, so obviously you should not friend me, because you’re too cool for me. Hey bitch, why don’t you get over yourself, it’s not like being choosy on facebook makes you a cooler person. Anyway, I fucked your boyfriend in high school and he didn’t think that I was below him. Have a good day and I cannot wait to see you at the reunion.

However, like Heather said I’m desperate for Mafia members and am always being fake polite on facebook, so it will probably go a little something like this:

We had (insert boring subject) class together and I knew (insert some person that everyone in our high school knew). I also have seen your pictures from (insert current guy that Heather says she is dating). It’s okay though you don’t remember me so I guess I’ll see you at the reunion.

See folks, I’m a fucking wimp, except when it comes to stepping up to crapstick. Anyway, I have to go say happy birthday to all of the people on facebook who I don’t actually know, but befriended anyway, because I’m nice like that.