Goodbye blood cups

Warning: more adult content headed your way and not the pleasant kind

So, here is proof that I’m a total and complete dumbfuck.

Tonight I decided to take a shower with banana and sir. Sir jumps in and I put banana on the floor so I can take out my stupid blood cup. Now, am I’m smart and do it over the toilet, no. I’m a dumbshit and take it out within two feet of banana. So, even though the damn thing has been slipping all day long, it suddenly is stuck.

WARNING: INCREDIBLY GRAPHIC CONTENT TO FOLLOW (I HOPE YOU HAVE NOT EATEN RECENTLY)

So I’m trying to get the damn thing out when the unthinkable happens and the cup tips inside of me, spilling blood everywhere. Poor banana’s legs are suddenly covered in menstrual blood. I know, yuck, yack, I want to puck, my poor baby, this lady shouldn’t be allowed to have kids because she is so stupid, how could she, why would she admit this, what a freak, etc. I get it people, I really do.

So, of course I immediately clean her up by throwing her into the shower and have poor crapstick watch her so that I can get the damn cup out (because it’s still stuck up there). See, crapstick has a lot of shit that he puts up with when it comes to me. So needless to say, goodbye blood cups, that is the last I will see of you.