I’m not saying his gay and she’s fat, but…

Sir has taken to putting his finger in his butt at every diaper change. Now, I am assuming that he is just learning about his body parts, but I’m not so sure. So, has anyone else experienced this or is Sir especially special today? I’ve been trying to just tell him he’s touching his butt and then, ignore it because I know that the more attention I give him when he has his hands down his pants the more he loves to do it. What a little punk that Sir can be. Well, if this is an indicator that he’s going to be gay, then, gay pride parades here I come! I’m sure you all have now realized that I’m a fucking moron and shouldn’t be allowed to have children, but alas they don’t sterilize idiots, so haha.

On another note about why I should not be allowed to be a mother, let me tell you about banana and her new food issues. Banana does not like baby food. I mean, she’ll take a few bites to appease me and get me to shut the fuck up, but then, she clamps her jaws closed and that’s it. Well, that’s it until you bring on the real food. Note: I know I’m going to get yelled at for feeding the almost seven month old the food I’m about to share with you, but fuck off, I don’t care. The real food for today was cupcakes (because I’m fat like that). She lapped up all of the frosting off of my cupcake, which pissed me off for several different reasons. First, that’s my food you little fat bitch. Secondly, banana you are going to have absolute no nutrients and die of rickets or something. Finally, I’m pretty sure the overexcitement when I was about to give her each bite is proof that she is going to be a really fat girl like her momma. Now, I don’t care if you’re fat or not, I mean hell I’m really attracted to slightly larger men, but still I know how it is to be an overweight woman. Yes, Heather I can hear you screaming now about how I’m not that big, yada yada. So, I’m a little worried that I may have to go on a diet to make sure her real food is fruits and vegetables, that sucks. Well, enough bitching about the poor innocent children that somehow won the contest of becoming my kids up in heaven. I’m off to have my date with crapstick, we’ll see how it goes.