Thoughts for the day

So, I think my neighbor has passed away. I know, you’ll all thinking, what do you mean you think, you retard. Well, I can’t find her obituary, mostly because I don’t know what her last name was (I’m a great neighbor), but there were a lot of cars at her house today with no sign of her. Plus everyone was dressed in suits and black dresses, so I think it is safe to conclude that she may have passed away. She was in her seventies or eighties so it’s not that far fetched, but who knows. I didn’t think it was appropriate to go over and say “hey, so what’s up?” See, even I have some forethought. My main question for the day though is: what the hell is going on with the excess amount of death lately? I mean there have been a slew of celebrity deaths and it seems every time I turn on the TV there is another death. What the fuck?

So, here comes selfish Sam, you have been forewarned. Does this mean I’m going to die or is someone I know really well going to die? Is this God trying to tell me something, like stop bitching and start living? Do other people worry about this when people start dropping like flies or am I the only freak out there? This is what I start freaking out about because I’m special like that. Any input would be appreciated and taken to heart (so be semi-nice).

On other fronts, I have figured out something to do with evil stepson that crapstick agrees with. I’m sure you have all heard of a curse jar, well I’m starting a back talking jar. I will give evil stepson a warning if he starts back talking and then, if he doesn’t heed the warning, it will be pony up twenty-five cents. So, I tell evil stepson about this plan and how does he respond, you ask. He goes, (insert snide tone) “what if I don’t have any money?” Well, then, I guess you’re paying in toys. Kids can be special sometimes.

Quick update about Sir and banana. So, Sir lost a pound. Are you fucking kidding me with this? I added up his calories yesterday and he eats, before dinner, 1500 calories. All of the experts say that 1300 is more than enough for a toddler. That kid is going to be the death of me. I have now added an extra Pediasure to his previous two, so that maybe just maybe, he’ll gain some weight. Oh, and no the pediatrician is not worried, because he thinks the 10th percentile is fine, which I’m fine with until he loses weight. I mean poor Sir is two years old and weighs 24 and ½ pounds. Ugh, Sir! Banana on the other hand, has a cold and another bottom tooth coming in, which is causing her to have a slight low grade fever, poor banana. In good banana news, she is actively crawling and trying to pull up. Plus she is babbling more than Sir did. Banana you are such a sigh of relief to your crazy momma.

That’s it for now ladies and gents, I’ll try to update soon.