Happy Fourth of July!

First and foremost, I want to wish all of my readers a happy Fourth of July. I hope you have some fun plans. I will be going to a barbeque at trucker slut’s house and then, I’ll be watching fireworks from home tonight. I could use the bullshit reason that I have two small children so I cannot go out that late at night to watch fireworks or that it is a very dangerous holiday to drive on, but that would be a lie. I have a weird fear of fireworks that only started in my early twenties (I’m 27 for those of you that are curious). I just cannot stand the popping noise and it makes me cringe. So, I’ll be holed up while the rest of the world is out at the fireworks. Don’t worry as soon as the kids are old enough to appreciate the fireworks I will drive my ass out to them and shut the fuck up. Oh, and today fat bitch got us all matching t-shirts to wear! Isn’t that great? Fuck me. I’ll try to post the fucking picture of us all in matching shirts if I can figure out how to black out heads. I’ll ask Heather, she knows everything.

Any way, back to your regularly scheduled angry Sam. Just to tie up some loose ends, I wanted to let you know that the DMV actually forgave the penalty fee so we only had to pay $400 to register the RV. Wait; did I just say only $400? Fuck that, that is a ridiculous amount to pay to register a vehicle, fucking broke ass California. I hate this damn state. On another note, crapstick and I were discussing my ten year reunion this October, because he asked when we were going to use the RV again. I at first of course responded “when I’ve paid off the bullshit registration fee,” but I digress. So, he doesn’t want to go to the reunion because it is over the weekend when one of evil stepson’s football games will be. Are you kidding me with this? Crapstick states that evil stepson only has eight football games this season and he doesn’t want to miss one. I respond with the I only have one ten year reunion, but he still gives me crap about not wanting to go because he doesn’t want to miss a game. Get over it crapstick, you’re a fucking freak. Watching evil stepson play football each week does not make you a good father to him, it just means you really love football no matter who is playing. Plus I have such issues with this whole football thing in the first place. I really don’t think evil stepson wants to play, but really wants his daddy to want to watch him do things (which is totally normal). However, crapstick paying him for every good hit is not normal nor do I think healthy. God I hope crapstick doesn’t think he’ll get away with any of the shit with Sir or Banana. Any way, after the whole argument and him finally saying he will go he asks “how many people are going to be there that you fucked?” Wow, crapstick why don’t you just ask “hey whore, like you fucked every man in your class, right slut?” I told him none, which I’m pretty sure is true (Heather- my memory- that’s right, right?), I have a crap memory, so he can just shove it. Uh, Happy Fourth of July to me!