The mice will play while the cat’s away

So, I apologize for not blogging yesterday. I have just been running around doing errands and “playing” because my boss is gone for the week. It has left me a lot more free time and I actually have started reading again. I picked up a new(ish) Stephen King novel, Cell, that I’m thoroughly enjoying. I also finally got the one item I had been missing in Mafia Wars. Hallelujah! I just have a few more job tiers in New York and I’ll be done with that obsession. I know, what a fucking loser I can be, but hell it beats me screaming all of the time.

On other fronts, psycho ex-wife is back at it again, but in new special ways that prove how much she cannot stand evil stepson. She only has four hours visitation a week and we also get a two week summer vacation from her, which was to start in the middle of this month. Due to how her visitation schedule works out it would have meant that evil stepson did not have to go see her from the middle of this month to the second week of next month, which makes him happy. Today was to be the last visit until August, so you would think she would show up, but no not mother of the year psycho bitch. She has her little sister call us yesterday to tell us that she is stuck at her dad’s house (a ten hour drive North) and her car is apparently broken so she cannot make it down. Are you fucking kidding me lady, you have one visit left and you were going to give him his cell phone so you could talk to him over the visitation, and you decide to drive ten hours north for the week? Plus you do not have the decency to actually call us yourself, what a fucking loser. So, I have some theories about this. I know you are all asking why the fuck does she even care, she doesn’t even like the kid, but alas as I learned in therapy last week, I love crapstick (shocker!) and will do anything to keep him around- even if it means me being pissed off (serious abandonment issues). I therefore, obsess over psycho ex-wife bitch’s behavior to figure out what she is really doing (trust me it’s never what meets the eye, remember she really is crazy- diagnosed and all). Back to my theories:
a. She got kicked out of her brother’s house and her dad is the last loser that will take her in. I would love to believe this to be true, but I know that my luck would never allow this scenario, so this is unlikely.
b. She figured she could go on a whole month vacation and since she doesn’t really like stepson either, why not. I figure this is plausible considering that every time stepson is over there, she plays with his cousin and ignores him.
c. She is not really up North, but instead wanted more time with her crazy boyfriend, so she had her sister call to cancel her visitation. I find this the most likely of all the scenarios because otherwise (is she were really up North) she could have called and the number would have showed up.
d. Final theory: maybe she has finally gotten it through her thick skull that stepson wants nothing to do with her and has decided to back off. I HIGHLY doubt this though, because the whole custody battle has had nothing to do with stepson for her, but instead had EVERYTHING to do with pissing crapstick off. This is the primary reason that she does not have more than four hours of visitation, because she doesn’t care to do the things the judge told her to do, because she is not interested in her relationship with stepson

Okay, so enough about that. I’m glad I got that off my chest; I think I can finally have a clear thought again.
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT TO FOLLOW, TOO MUCH INFORMATION HEADED YOUR WAY, YOU WERE WARNED:
So, today I get to go to the gynecologist’s office and I’m going to lie to my gynecologist. You see, my period has returned, yes folks, less than two weeks after the last one, and I really need to see the gynecologist. I plan to not mention this until I get into see the nurse and then, go “oh my God, I just got my period, how embarrassing.” Normally, I would just wait, but I have some things that need immediate attention. GRAPHIC PART NOW: Long story short, I was diagnosed with genital warts as a teenager and they sometimes return and need to be frozen off, and yes, it is as painful as it sounds. Anyway, they seemed to have cropped their ugly heads up again, but in a new spot and I need her to check them out and remove them. Those of you that know me will not be surprised at all by my candor because I am a very frank person, and I’m sorry to the rest of you. I will let you know how it goes. Knowing my luck she is going to look at them and say dumb, dumb those are not warts, but scar tissue from the episiotomy, thanks for wasting my time and bleeding all over me. It will be embarrassing, but I think that’s better than “how did you let these go for so long, what the fuck is wrong with you, this is going to require surgery to fix!” Nervous, nervous.

Well, I hope you have a good weekend and I’ll try to update as soon as I can. Stay tuned.

PS You thought it was going to be a tame post based on the title; didn't you?