Crapstick diet

I have been talking to Heather a lot about my continued issues with crapstick and was able to help me develop a plan of attack. I feel like I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, begging him, crying out at him, etc. and nothing has worked so now it’s time for plan Heather. Plan Heather is all about giving him his own space so that I can have mine so it’s basically a reduction in the amount of time I spend talking to crapstick. As is the case with all of my diets this one has been difficult to start and I have already called crapstick once today to rub in his nose that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize today. For the record I don’t really think he needed the Peace Prize, but I am also not going to freak out about it like crapstick. On the Heather prescribed crapstick diet I would not be calling crapstick at all during the day so that we could have some alone time so I have failed day one of the diet, but I will not allow it to plunge me into five minute calls to crapstick (unlike a real diet where one M&M would lead to a binge on chocolate products). All this free time away from crapstick and his illogical arguments may actually allow me to write more on here. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Quick question to my readers: do any of you know of any diseases/ disorders that have the following symptoms:
Vomiting approximately weekly
Slow weight gain
Slow height gain
Affect toddlers
Slow speech development with the primary letters m, b, & p being unintelligible
Refusal to eat
Holding food in one’s mouth for thirty-sixty minutes per bite

If you do please comment so that I can do some research to help Sir and I thank you in advance.